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Author Topic: Breakfast Burritos  (Read 5422 times)

Offline ApprenticePhreak

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Breakfast Burritos
« on: July 09, 2008, 06:32:31 AM »
Because the food of the Yauch section needs to be added now and forever.

A little under three months ago I moved to Texas. I come from Maryland; land of scrapple and chipped beef gravy. Both foods are super excellent sources of morning consumption. Chipped beef will later make you use the bathroom and all toilet-paper therein and scrapple just happens to be the left over of everything that didn't go into the hot-dog.

Now in my uncertain dilemma of Texas and it being a southern part of the states, they don't have scrapple nor chipped beef. Well, they have pre-made chipped beef at walmart, but it's not as good as hand made. Far from it. But it's fairly tasty seeing as it's all I have at the moment.

In my wanderings and malnourished state someone suggested a breakfast burrito. I only contorted my face in a portrait of disgust. Who is going to eat a salsa covered burrito with meat that's probably older than me in it at eight in the morning? Personally can't stand salsa. Well, I can but I don't like to. The individual reiterated. "No stupid. It's eggs n'stuff in a tortilla wrap." This piqued my stomach and intestines heavily. Something new to digest. Not new, no; let me restate that. Something old but in a new combination to digest.

"Really now? I don't have to get peppers and shit in it, do I?" The man I was with told me that I didn't. That I could get a combination of things of what I wanted in it. Later we went to a place I can't even recall the name of. He said it was inexpensive place and the food was clean enough to not kill me. As a patron of being cheap and not having more than a twenty to my name at the time I could only agree.

Going into the restaurant I started taking note of the place. Like every other dining area I've been to while at my new home in Texas I noticed every single one had this uncontrollable urge to hang up stars, American flags and various Texas shapes--every where. Same deal of the usual set up I've seen and it was clean enough. Even if it wasn't clean I'd still consume the food product as long as the food was clean. Even that part of my logic is debatable considering what usually finds its way into my maw.

Sitting on the far left side of the restaurant as we entered we started going over the menu they'd had on each and every table. Some more haphazard and carelessly sprawled then others. Gentleman I was with already knew what he wanted and then I looked over the menu at the breakfast burritos. Potato and eggs I thought. Sounds good and the thing only costs $1.49. Good deal, probably wasn't that big. Later this would prove to be an uncomfortable mistake. When the waitress came over we made our orders, he got a coke and coffee and I ordered a milk.

Time passes and we get our drinks. For the first time in history I was given a cup of milk from a restaurant that wasn't in a thimble and was well worth the two dollars they were charging me. Idly chit-chatting about politics and the belief that politicians are just rich fat guys trying to get richer, our food started to make its way rather quickly to us.

The burritos were huge. Much more than I'd anticipated. Putting my plate down in front of me made my eyes widen like saucers. "Are you serious, man? These things are this big?" My traveling companion at the time only laughed at me and reminded me that he'd given me information of their size before hand that I'd just chosen to ignore outright.

While eating this new combination of old food I found heaven. A dirt cheap heaven. I could eat my eggs and sausage, eggs and bacon, eggs and potatoes and etcetera in this new fangled fashion. Super cheap and super filling. I forced down the last half of the second one while finishing my milk slowly to give room for the food that had already made reservations in my stomach and planned on staying their for the remainder of its vacation before it had to be evacuated from the body forcefully.

So, what other cheap and unexpected foods have you consumed as of late? In all honesty I'd recommend the breakfast burrito to anyone who isn't a complaining and useless vegetarian.

Offline RTF

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Re: Breakfast Burritos
« Reply #1 on: August 08, 2008, 02:44:17 PM »
Any sort of burrito is lovely.  I'd eat sawdust and old batteries if you served it to me in a nice flour tortilla.

Offline Hebbie Hauler

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Re: Breakfast Burritos
« Reply #2 on: August 08, 2008, 04:03:38 PM »
Any sort of burrito is lovely.  I'd eat sawdust and old batteries if you served it to me in a nice flour tortilla.

Yum sawdust, just like TacoBell beef (+grease)

Offline ApprenticePhreak

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Re: Breakfast Burritos
« Reply #3 on: August 08, 2008, 04:22:04 PM »
I eat 12+ hard shell tacos from tacobell at any sitting. It's what I do.

Offline Nod

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Re: Breakfast Burritos
« Reply #4 on: August 08, 2008, 09:13:12 PM »
Latkas (Potato cakes) are always win.
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Offline rogueclown

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Re: Breakfast Burritos
« Reply #5 on: August 09, 2008, 01:39:52 PM »
Latkas (Potato cakes) are always win.

omg, i haven't had latkes in forever.  SO MUCH WIN.
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Offline Tachyon

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Re: Breakfast Burritos
« Reply #6 on: August 09, 2008, 02:58:28 PM »
My parents called soft tortilla burritos simply 'tacos' thoughout my formative years and made me look stupid later on because of it. If I ever had kids I'd be sorely tempted to raise them to mix up all kinds of obscure words, ones that they'd maybe use once in a lifetime each but would screw up in that perfect place they'd found for it and make them look silly. Either that or I'd just raise them to be Mormons.
Do you speak two languages?

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Offline Nod

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Re: Breakfast Burritos
« Reply #7 on: August 09, 2008, 10:33:00 PM »
Latkas (Potato cakes) are always win.

omg, i haven't had latkes in forever.  SO MUCH WIN.

Just thinking about it I get so fahklempt I could plotz.
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Offline Zazen

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Re: Breakfast Burritos
« Reply #8 on: August 10, 2008, 05:57:41 AM »
There's a tradition of eating insects in Mexico, they're supposed to be tasty and nutritious. For example, grasshopper tacos:


Offline ApprenticePhreak

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Re: Breakfast Burritos
« Reply #9 on: August 10, 2008, 08:31:02 AM »
No. No that's not tasty. It probably tastes like asshole. Bug asshole.

Offline Tachyon

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Re: Breakfast Burritos
« Reply #10 on: August 10, 2008, 11:34:07 AM »
Imagine how many bugs (not to mention the larger field animals like bunnies that get ground up by the threshing machines and so forth every harvest) must have been ground up into the flour that made all the bread you've eaten over the course of your lifetime.
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Offline Zazen

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Re: Breakfast Burritos
« Reply #11 on: August 10, 2008, 03:53:59 PM »
No. No that's not tasty. It probably tastes like asshole. Bug asshole.

People who've actually tried it say that they're tasty. Really, they're just animals. You probably already eat a lot of weird animals and animal parts, like eggs, clams, anchovies, jello, etc.

Offline ApprenticePhreak

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Re: Breakfast Burritos
« Reply #12 on: August 10, 2008, 04:00:09 PM »
I think it's something like 5% of all cereal is shit from various animals. I didn't mind the cricket lollipop, I just don't like the idea of biting down into a taco filled with them. Especially considering I only enjoy the super American version of tacos.

Asides that I eat sushi all the damn time, tentacle from squid, squid in general; seafood. Best food in the world.

Offline Nod

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Re: Breakfast Burritos
« Reply #13 on: August 10, 2008, 09:11:23 PM »
I think it's something like 5% of all cereal is shit from various animals. I didn't mind the cricket lollipop, I just don't like the idea of biting down into a taco filled with them. Especially considering I only enjoy the super American version of tacos.

Asides that I eat sushi all the damn time, tentacle from squid, squid in general; seafood. Best food in the world.

Seafood comes from water and I never touch the stuff. You know fish fuck in there right?
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Offline ApprenticePhreak

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Re: Breakfast Burritos
« Reply #14 on: August 11, 2008, 01:38:45 AM »
I think it's something like 5% of all cereal is shit from various animals. I didn't mind the cricket lollipop, I just don't like the idea of biting down into a taco filled with them. Especially considering I only enjoy the super American version of tacos.

Asides that I eat sushi all the damn time, tentacle from squid, squid in general; seafood. Best food in the world.

Seafood comes from water and I never touch the stuff. You know fish fuck in there right?

You mean that $1.79 bottle of Dasani I purchase has fish cum in it. Oh, man, what the fuck is up with that shit?

 

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