My war with Tara--> Suggestions for revenge appreciated (Long story)

[Chekken]

I used to date a girl named Tara Labelle. We actually met online and eventually IRL. Somehow, we ended up heavily making out and not even bothering to watch Hellboy (My own mediocre attempt at humor has been highly amusing to myself.). We then proceeded to meet up a lot, make out a lot, and just have a lot of love for one another.

Problems came in the relationship because both of us were very jealous of having people of the opposite sex around. Plus, we couldn't "monitor" each other because of the distance. So I admitted to her that I had a crush on another girl out of complete and utter guilt, and to stay honest. I really did care about our relationship. I let her know in as nice a way as possible that I still loved her and that I was feeling guilty for having feelings for someone else. She went completely apeshit and hung up on me.

Eventually she calls me back up and says she wants to break up with me. I'm shitting bricks at this point saying "What the hell?! Why? I was being honest. I don't think I even WANT to be with this girl". She goes off on a tangent and then says "We need to break up. But we can still be friends with benefits, right?". NOW I was angry. She had been using me for sex. What the hell else does "friends with benefits" mean? I hung up on her that time. She never called me back.

Fast forward a week. I'm obviously depressed because I think the relationship is over.  At 9PM I get a call from Tara. Assuming she wanted to apologize, I pick up and immediately ask her what she wanted to talk about.
"Nothing", she said.
I was disappointed.
"Can you hang on a sec? I'll be right back"
"Okay"
So she leaves. Barely 30 seconds later, a male voice comes on the phone.
"Hello?"
"Hi, who's this?"
"This is Tara's boyfriend."
WHAT?!
"Umm...no." I said. "I thought I was Tara's boyfriend. Who the heck is this? Is this a prank call?"
"Not really. So...I've been monitoring your computer by hacking it. Who is Gabby? She a friend of yours?"
Gaby was my friend from Australia. "Yeah"
"Well, why is Gabby saying she loves you? And why are you replying back saying that you love her?"
At this point, I knew that he wasn't kidding. I quickly ran AVG and found a known Trojan on my system. He was definitely hacking me.
"Listen, you fucker, why are you hacking me?"
"She asked me to in order to see if you were cheating."
"We're broken up. It isn't cheating"
I don't really care about this guy right now, so I ask to talk to Tara. She came on and we argued for a good 30 minutes. Among the highlights were me calling her a slut, her telling me I was an awful boyfriend (lie) and her little boyfriend reciting chat logs of a sensitive nature.

Let's cut to the chase. It is 1 year later. I have done nothing to get revenge. I want it pretty badly. How do I do it?

[Seb]

apologize to your girlfriend. apologize to your friend from australia. then call your mom, tell her you love her and that you're grateful for all that she's done for you. /thread

[Nod]

apologize to your girlfriend. apologize to your friend from australia. then call your mom, tell her you love her and that you're grateful for all that she's done for you. /thread

Fail. The correct advice was "Shoot heroin and then your school."

[Arox!]

I think you should call the girl back and try to get back with her. Who knows maybe she has changed and will be the love of your life. Listen to your heart. Hope this helps man. Let us know how it goes.

[Godot]

I suggest that you call her up and ask if her refrigerator is running. When she tells you it is, tell her that she'd better go catch it.

[ApprenticePhreak]

Get a firewall. That'll do you good.

[rbcp]

Seems like you both were kind of shitty about the relationship.  Can't you just call it even and move on with your life?  Or consider it a valuable lesson learned about never trusting women?  Learning that might save you from some real damage in the future.

[mr_doc]

Go to the attraction forums

[rogueclown]

meh, girls should have better sense than to date boys who hang out on prank phone call boards.  it only leads to trouble.   

[rbcp]

meh, girls should have better sense than to date boys who hang out on prank phone call boards.  it only leads to trouble.   

Unless the women happen to hang out on prank phone call boards.  Then it's okay.  And my "women are evil" comment doesn't apply to those particular women.

[jx]

meh, girls should have better sense than to date boys who hang out on prank phone call boards.  it only leads to trouble.   

Unless the women happen to hang out on prank phone call boards.  Then it's okay.  And my "women are evil" comment doesn't apply to those particular women.

asl?

meh, boys should have better sense than to date girls who hang out on prank phone call boards.  it only leads to trouble.   

Fixed. 

[Seb]

Just become a gay. They're always happy.

[Nod]

Just become a gay. They're always happy.

Except for murd0c.

[m0rdekai]

I think you should call the girl back and try to get back with her. Who knows maybe she has changed and will be the love of your life. Listen to your heart. Hope this helps man. Let us know how it goes.

For starters, dont take relationship advice from random interwebz entities, cause this is what you get.
Number B:  Stop downloading so many pr0nz and you wont haz trojan.  Duh.
Step 3: Its been a year.  Grow up.  Srsly.

[Kaymon]

Problems came in the relationship because both of us were very jealous of having people of the opposite sex around. Plus, we couldn't "monitor" each other because of the distance.

You both sound somewhat insecure. Don't date for awhile. Grow a bit.

"Not really. So...I've been monitoring your computer by hacking it. Who is Gabby? She a friend of yours?"

...and her little boyfriend reciting chat logs of a sensitive nature.

Line crossed. Hack him back.

It may have been a year, but revenge actually works better after waiting awhile. They forget, lower their guard, ect.

Wait. er... shoot up your school and heroin?